Games 190-201 (COPA MELANIA Round Robin Groups A and B)

Game 190: Brolecia-Afrazure Altlandique (08-07-299)

The IVEFA wishes to announce the result of today's Copa Melania Match:

The Technical Information:

Final score: BROLECIA 6 - AFRAZURE ALTLANDIQUE 0
Played in: Lake-Edge Park, Laketon, Brolecia
Attendance: 50,000
Referee: Brad Barkley (Lamb's Cove)
Goals: Montagne (BRO, 1st), Howard (BRO, 23rd), Montagne (BRO, 27th),
Montagne (BRO, 45th), D. Ozi (BRO, 52nd), Horunard (BRO, 90th)
Yellow cards: Bullahlah (AZA, 12th), Abdullah (AZA, 27th), Klondike
(BRO, 47th), Fetlala (AZA, 64th), L'Éléphant (BRO, 72nd)
Substitutions: Boudemi for Oufkir (AZA, 45th), Telaka for Abdullah (AZA,
45th), L'Éléphant for Ramudeira (BRO, 45th), Horunard for Montagne (BRO, 45th)

Match commentary:

Six goal loss not the ideal début for new colony!

The recently established Altlandic colony of Afrazure made its entrance
on to the world stage with a thumping loss to one of the powers of the game
and VexGames champions, Brolecia. Before the game, it was expected by
all that Brolecia would win, and the Brolecian fans were not disappointed.

Everything was going fine for the Afrazureans until Brad Barkley
actually blew the whistle. It took the triple attack of Wylie James, Tyrone
Howard, and Guy Montagne forty-two seconds flat to score the first goal of the
game. Tyrone Howard took the first shot, it went past Abdul Oufkir, but
it rebounded off the left post. Guy Montagne quickly trapped the rebound,
and with his accurate boot, put it off the right post, but this time into
the goal.

This was not the start of the game that was hoped for, but Oufkir
reminded his players that in Brolecia's first game against Draconia in Liston,
the Pirate Tom Fellworth also scored a goal in the first minute. He also
explained that it could be an omen, that an upstart Melanian side gets a
goal scored against them in the first minute by a nation with recent
victories, yet they go on to draw the game. But alas, it was not to be.

The ball was almost entirely in the Afrazureans half for the next 22
minutes, but the Brolecian shooting was not up to scratch many times,
although Oufkir did make some very good saves at times. In fact, in the
12th minute, Mahmet Bullahlah fouled Guy Montagne in the box, causing a
yellow card and a penalty. But Abdul Oufkir did undoubtedly the save of
the year, saving a shot measured to be going at 84km/h. He lept his large
frame nearly 8 feet away to ricochet the ball over the cross-bar, and out for
a corner. Guy Montagne was very disappointed with himself, despite the
fact that he took an almost-perfect penalty.

Ten minutes later, Oufkir took a goal-kick that reached to the closer
side of the centre-circle. It was picked up by Jean-Paul Bestul, but stolen
by Wylie James. The Brolecians then launched a five man spear-head attack,
with Dominic Ozi and Alejandro Martínez moving up. With magnificent
passing, Tyrone Howard scored with a header from an Ozi cross, and had
absolutely no trouble in slotting it past the keeper.

It was on a four man spear-head attack with Stefan Möller four minutes
later that Guy Montagne got fouled for the third time that game, and the
second time that game in the box. This time, the perpetrator was Mounir
Abdullah, who received a yellow. Montagne wanted to get the penalty
right this time, and that he did. Oufkir jumped far enough to save the
penalty, showing that he could leap enormous distances. Unfortunately, he leapt
in the wrong direction, towards the left post, while Montagne kicked it in
two feet away from the right post.

The rest of the half was spent in the half of the Afrazureans, and
Brolecia certainly had their chances. But each time they were either over or
wide, or safely in the arms of the keeper. Only in the final minute of injury
time did Brolecia score again, Montagne's third goal of the game, and
celebrating his first hatrick in international football.

The referee blew his whistle, and the atmospheres in the changing rooms
were quite different. Franz Drittemeier was firing up because his guys
had missed so many chances. By his count, if they had converted every shot
they had, the score would be 15-0. Étienne Tanguay, the Phenixian now living
in Afrazure, tried to cheer his guys up to no avail, but everybody on that
team was only uncertain of one thing leading up to the game: how much by

which they were going to lose. However, they did discuss tactics on how
to improve their defence, which did partially work.

Both coaches made their two substitutions at half time. Drittemeier
brought some of the Afrazurean's former teammate, Éric l'Éléphant, to replace
the suspended Peter Smyth's stand-in, João Ramudeira. He also took off Guy
Montagne, who he felt had had his dash, and replaced him with another
former Africablue player, Fabien Horunard. Tanguay took off his
despondent goal-keeper, Abdul Oufkir, and replaced him with the secondary keeper,
Hassan Boudemi. Also removed was the yellow-carded Mounir Abdullah, to
be replaced by Hosni Telaka.

When Akhbar Moloko kicked off, the Afrazureans made a slow but steady
advance on goal, retaining possession for a full two minutes, until Eric

Klondike fouled Ngomo Jubala three yards away from the box. Moloko took
the free-kick, but Wahib Maarouf, the end man on the wall, deflected it with
his head, and out for a corner.

It didn't take long for the Barons to renew their chances. In the 51st
minute, the captain, Dominic Ozi, took the ball from Prosper Balulu in a
borderline tackle. He made it past Jubala, Oubangi, Bazari, Fetlala,
Bullalah, Telaka, and finally Hassan Boudemi, to place it in the
top-right hand corner of the net. But the Afrazureans did not give up. They still
felt that they could salvage at least one goal, if not two.

And they most certainly tried. The Brolecian defence was tested on many
occasions in the next 38 minutes, but nine times out of ten they
relieved the attacking forwards of the ball. There were only three occasions in
which the forwards broke through the rock hard Brolecian defense. The
first time, Akhbar Moloko kicked it wide of the left post. The second time,
Moloko, kicked it too close to Joseph Davidson, who was frankly bored of

this game, and was almost caught off guard. And on the third occasion,
Ngomo Balulu was denied by a save brought on by the cat-like reflexes of
Davidson, putting it over the cross-bar.

During that period of Afraqi attack, the Barons did try their luck
against Boudemi, but were not too successful, ie scoring no goals.

Finally, in the second of three minutes of injury time, as it looked
like it would be the expected 5-0 win to Brolecia, the substitute and former
Africablue player Fabien Horunard broke through the Afrazurean defence
to score past Hassan Boudemi, thus making the score 6-0. It was merely the
icing on the Afrazurean cake of defeat. But, at least the Afraqis can
tell their grandchildren when they're older that they played against
Brolecia.

Afrazure Altlandique's next fixture is at home against Oost-Otago, at
the National Stadium in Medhinou. Brolecia's next game is also against
Oost-Otago, but away, at The Dust Bowl in Tepizcoloyo. The two teams
meet again in Medhinou.

The Technical Information:

Final score: SAN PATRICIO 1 - WWWW 0
Played in: Campo del Mar, Observador, San Patricio
Attendance: 73,112
Referee: Wilfried Astnehmer (Westria)
Goals: Khaled (SPT, 19th)
Yellow cards: Kerinaiua (WWW, 2nd), Puantulura (WWW, 19th), Tipungwuti
(WWW, 24th), Poantumilui (WWW, 60th), López (SPT, 79th)
Substitutions: Kelantumama for Mungatopi (WWW, 45th), Ripijigimpi for
Tipungwuti (WWW, 45th), Pecs for García (SPT, 45th), O'Gorman for
Smith-Jones (SPT, 67th)

Match commentary:

The Flying Saints win without take-off.

San Patricio, after only three games of international football, won
their first game in unconvincing style over a team with national problems
already.

After an unexpected draw against Brolecia in Kache, and the surprise
loss to Lamb's Cove in Morania City, the end result was of no surprise, even
though the scoreline was expected to be higher.

In a dour struggle, the Wwwwans put up a spirited defence in front of
the San Patricio crowd. With play dominated by the midlfield and
defenders, the high number of cards was no real suprise.

The only goal came in the 19th minute through San Patricio's Khaled, who
milked a penalty in the box after taking a dive in front of Puantulura.
This was Astnehmer's only real mistake, however, his view was obscured,
and his linesmen gave him no help. Khaled lined up the penalty and drove
it high and right, as the Wwww 'keeper anticipated a kick to the left.

It seemed after that that San Patricio wanted to just take the 3 points
for the victory, as they shut up shop for the afternoon. Wwww will have
to improve greatly in their attacking play to be a force, however, it
seems that they had no real problems with their defence, though it did
appear as though San Patricio were playing a quiet game to avoid injury.

The Flying Saints play Kalesthesia next in Orteo Bay Stadium, in Blavia.

Wwww also plays Kalesthesia next, but instead at home, on Ochre Field in

Woo City. The rematch is in Woo City on the 15th of August.

The Technical Information:

Final score: OOST-OTAGO 2 - AFRAZURE ALTLANDIQUE 3
Played in: The Dust Bowl, Tepizcoloyo, Oost-Otago
Attendance: 39,600
Referee: Peter Claris (Morania)
Goals: Milchweiß (OOO, 1st), Torrent (OOO, 39th), Jubala (AZA, 54th),
Oubangi (AZA, 62nd), Nagumi (AZA, 90th)
Yellow cards: Nagouma (AZA, 19th), Fetlala (AZA, 49th), Adelbert (OOO,
64th), Schußlich (OOO, 85th)
Red cards: Nagouma (AZA, 39th)
Substitutions: Achathz for Keleney (OOO, 45th), Nagumi for Moloko (AZA,
45th), Schipp for Sibbel (OOO, 63rd), Makombo for Bazari (AZA, 64th)

Match commentary:

Afrazure wins with ten men!

This game would determine basically the second place-getter of Pool A, even
though it was still early stages. The winner of this game would receive the
psychological advantage for the next game.

The Afrazureans were extremely disappointed, when in the first minute, the
Oost-Otagan forward Milchweiß scored a goal, a repeat of their first game
against Brolecia. But the Afrazureans knew to pull themselves together very
quickly, and that they did.

Oost-Otago were very encouraged by their early goal, and just kept
attacking, attacking, attacking. But the Afrazurean defence did very well,
and could easily deny Oost-Otago many chances on goal. Abdul Oufkir played
very well, and scouts from the Schysnia Superiorship in Westria are
starting to sit up and take notice of this lowly little continental
championship, and especially some of the Afrazurean team. The boys in blue
continued to play very well, conceding only one yellow card during the
period of play.

But an incident in the 39th minute was a further setback for Afrazure, with
the previously yellow-carded Antoine Nagouma did a tackle from behind in
the box. That warranted a red card, according to Referee Claris, and the
penalty was taken. Torrent slotted it past Oufkir, and both teams left the
field with very different views on the game. Antoine Nagouma was also going
to sit out the next game against Brolecia in Medhinou.

Afrazure Altlandique was dispirited, but after a vicious tongue-lashing
from Étienne Tanguay, the boys in blue pulled themselves together again.
They sent Flori Nagumi on to replace Akhbar Moloko up in the forwards.

Oost-Otago was happy, but they were instructed to keep attacking. They
could not rely on a two goal cushion, they were told by Hohengatth. They
also made a substitution, but in the defense, with Achathz for Keleney.

For the first 15 minutes of the second half it was a frantic backwards and
forwards game. But rather, Afrazure Altlandique were the ones to score the
first goal, and the second goal. It was amazing, considering that only
fifteen minutes before they had been dispirited, two goals and one man
down, and then they were level.

After the second goal, each coach was forced to re-assess their tactics.
Oost-Otago switched goalies, and Afrazure switched a midfielder for another.

Afrazure Altlandique kept attacking for the final thirty minutes, but
Oost-Otago kept up vicious defense, resulting in yellow cards on occasions.
Just as it looked as if it would be the first drawn game of the Copa
Melania, Flori Nagumi, substituted at half time, scored a dying seconds
header. The few Afraqis who had travelled the 850 miles to Tepizcoloyo were
rewarded, and celebrated like it was New Year's Day 300!

Oost-Otago plays Brolecia next, the first game of Brolecia's road trip.
Another game at The Dust Bowl in Tepizcoloyo.
Afrazure Altlandique plays Brolecia also again, but this time at the
National Stadium at Medhinou, the last game of Brolecia's road trip.

The Technical Information:

Final score: KALESTHESIA 6 - WWWW 5
Played in: Orteo Bay Stadium, Blavia
Attendance: 66,000
Referee: Valter Burschnwackl (IWK)
Goals: Qarza (KAL, 5th), Qarza (KAL, 19th), Tungatalum (WWW, 29th),
Porkalari (WWW, 42nd), Tungatalum (WWW, 44th), Qarza (KAL, 47th), Qarza
(KAL, 49th), Tipulura (WWW, 58th), Porkalari (WWW, 71st), Qarza (KAL,
79th), Qarza (KAL, 89th)
Yellow cards: Kattsi (KAL, 24th), Neugradt (KAL, 44th), Tipungwuti (WWW,
52nd), Apuatimi (WWW, 79th)
Substitutions: Grooph for Divalis (KAL, 45th), R. Malin for Dogge (KAL,
45th), Tipulura for Pularumpi (WWW, 45th), Ripijigimpi for Kerinaiua (WWW,
50th)

Match commentary:

Two new world records in eleven-goal nailbiter!

Kalesthesia & Wwww were both engulfed in mystery prior to the match. Kal
was unknown, Wwww was played by an unconvincing San Pat team.

>From the first whistle it was a very active and spirited back and forth
game, for basically the entire half. The Kalesthesians managed to take an
early lead with Kristian Qarza scoring one in the fifth minute and one in
the nineteenth. The Kalesthesians seemed to be going pretty fine, until
Inoke Tungatulum broke through the Kals and put it past the keeper Utzkay.
A revival was brewing for the Woos, they could feel it. Their feelings were
correct, as Nafe Porkalari and Tungatulum scored two goals at the end of
the half in quick succession, Tungatulum's coming from a Neugradt penalty.
The Woos suddenly had a one goal cushion, from being one down a breath ago.

Walking out of the park and in to the tunnel, the Kalesthesians found they
needed to reasses strategy, because the two late Woo goals should never
have happened, considering their defence. They made their two substitutions
at half time, a defender swap and a forward swap.

The Woos considered themselves very lucky to be ahead. So they decided to
keep on attacking, and put the Kalesthesians out of reach. How wrong they
would be.

Kalesthesian hero of the first half Kristian Qarza scored the next two
goals, the first bringing his hatrick, only 1½ minutes apart, in the
timespace of a blink. The Kals were suddenly ahead again!

Wwww obviously realised that the forward swap was a bad idea, and
immediately set out to remedy it with a defensive swap. It worked for a
while. To keep this lead, the Kal forwards attacked and attacked, resulting
once in a Tevita Tipungwuti yellow card. But nothing serious happened in
the next five minutes until, on a fast break, the Woos went from the
goalie's arms to a corner kick in one minute fifty-four seconds. Tevita
Apuatimi kicked a nice curving corner, and Tipulura deflected it ever so
slightly into the goal. Celebrations began, and Tipulura showed that he had
more than shooting talents by doing three somersaults in succession in
celebration.

With the drawn game, both teams decided that attack was the best form of
defence, and how they attacked! It was not a rare occurance to see the ball
down the one end of the field, and less than a minute later see it at the
other end. But Wwww found the net again first, drawing into the lead in the
71st minute.

Now the pace was even more frantic, and the play was put up a notch. That
notch, however, resulted in a yellow card for Tevita Apuatimi, and a
penalty for... Kristian Qarza! Scoring his fifth goal, he had already
broken the world record.

If the play of the last twenty minutes was anything to go by, the final ten
was just madness in play. Tackles were flying everywhere, and so were the
shots. No team wanted to leave the field with a draw. It was absolute
insane playing, but it paid off for Kalesthesian wonder-boy Qarza, scoring
his sixth goal in the dying minutes of injury time, to put Kalesthesia one
up in the goal tally, and the group points. The celebrations were
absolutely phenomonal, at Orteo Bay Stadium you couldn't even hear yourself
think! The three points were very welcomed by Kalesthesia.

The six goals scored by Kristian Qarza smashes the old world record for
most goals scored by an individual in a single game. The eleven goals in
the game also ties the previous record, sharing it with Christiana 6 - 5
Ordland in a Vexillium Cup game last year. Before that, the record was
Westria 6 - 3 Islandia, in a friendly match.

Kalesthesia plays San Patricio next in Joaninna. Wwww also plays San
Patricio next, in Woo City.

The Technical Information:

Final score: OOST-OTAGO 0 - BROLECIA 5
Played in: The Dust Bowl, Tepizcoloyo, Oost-Otago
Attendance: 39,600
Referee: Vaghel Faltuunhe (EDE)
Goals: James (BRO, 29th), James (BRO, 43rd), D. Ozi (BRO, 61st), Martínez
(BRO, 67th), J. Ozi (BRO, 87th)
Yellow cards: Schußlich (OOO, 19th), D. Ozi (BRO, 32nd), Maulpeck (OOO, 63rd)
Substitutions: Achathz for Schußlich (OOO, 45th), J. Ozi for Möller (BRO,
59th), Russ for Kenthz (OOO, 68th)

Match commentary:

And the Barons keep storming on!

Brolecia showed the world today that the game against Afrazure Altlandique
was not a fluke, and that they can perform consistently, albeit against
nations who have not played any games of soccer together.

At the beginning of the game, the Brolecians were sort of 'testing the
water', seeing how the Oost-Otagans played, as they only had the footage
from their game against Afrazure Altlandique to go on. It was mainly a
midfield game for 25 minutes, until the team realised that they could sever
the defence of the Triple-O's easily.

So, they collectively launched attacks, and one was successful, with Wylie
James scoring the first, a volley easily going past Sibbel, into the roof
of the net. The Oost-Otagans knew that they could not keep up with Brolecia
from that first goal, but were still determined to try their best.

They did think, however, that the Brolecians would take a while getting
back to defense after an attacking play, and that they could launch some
attacks of their own. Their theory would work in practice against a weaker
team who tried the attacking tactics of the Barons, but the Brolecians were
experienced in these matters, displayed by the fact that they had only
conceded seven goals in 9½ games up to that point.

Alex Michaels, the stand-in coach for the sick and hospitalised Franz
Drittemeier, delivered his own half time yelling, claiming that the Barons
were playing like swear words against this unexperienced team. He also
claimed that Franz would be mighty pissed off if they didn't win by over
four goals. Oost-Otago believed that defense is the best form of attack,
and therefore brought Achathz on to give a breather to the carded Schußlich.

For fifteen minutes the Triple-O defense worked quite well, and Sibbel, the
keeper, didn't play too badly either. But then the psyched-up James Ozi
came on for the 99% fit Stefan Möller, and started playing like there was
no tomorrow. He was running and playing like crazy all across the park, and
supplied his brother with the pass to put the Barons three up.

This burst of celebration fired up the rest of the team, and the other
winger, vice-captain and Bahapes star Alejandro Martínez scored the next
six minutes later, with a bicycle kick from a James Ozi feed. Undoubtedly
it was the goal of the game, and most likely to be the goal of the Copa
Melania.

The next twenty minutes was sit back and take it easy for the Brolecians,
while conversely it was scramble like hell to score some goals for the
Triple-O's. At times the Triple-O's' Triple-Threat looked ominous to Joseph
Davidson, who has been the player with the least action in the Copa Melania
so far, but good ol' Joe knew how to get rid of the shots.

Finally, James Ozi wanted to just put the icing on the cake, and stormed
through the Oost-Otagan defense to score the fifth and final goal on the
game. He could be seen shouting afterwards, "This one's for FD! This one's
for FD!". We are not sure whether he was referring to Federal District, his
home province, or Franz Drittemeier, his incapacitated coach.

Brolecia finishes off their road trip with the re-match against Afrazure
Altlandique in Medhinou in three days time. Oost-Otago has a break, and
sees action next against Afrazure Altlandique in Medhinou in five days time.

The Technical Information:

Final score: KALESTHESIA 0 - SAN PATRICIO 3
Played in: Grand Lotus Stadium, Joannina, Kalesthesia
Attendance: 78,000
Referee: Gilles Baptiste (PHT)
Goals: Verano (SPT, 61st), Barek (SPT, 71st), McSweeny (SPT, 89th)
Yellow cards: López (SPT, 29th), Almirante (SPT, 49th)
Substitutions: Almirante for López (SPT, 45th), Grooph for Divalis (KAL,
45th), Madyarbarna for Smith-Jones (SPT, 57th), R. Malin for Kattsi (KAL,
73rd)
Match commentary:

The Flying Saints Soar Away!

The San Patrician Flying Saints beat a Kalesthesian side with one stretch
of brilliant play, but generally inconsistently.

The first half was lacklustre, to say the least. Neither side performed
particularly well, and a midfield game slump took over for the next
forty-five minutes. The San Patrician fans who had travelled the long
distance to Joaninna began to regret their coming there, and once again,
showed their disdain against El Fútbol Bovino with full moos and full moons.

"Vds juegan como groncos, ¡vamos a arojar más leche!" could be heard from a
certain section of the crowd from around the thirtieth minute onwards, and
it continued through the half time break, and up until Speedy Verano made
the first excitement of the game with a run on goal in the 58th minute. The
shot went wide, but it made the San Patricians start to sit on their asses
instead of displaying them.

The run inspired the San Pats, who by then had lost a significant portion
of the viewers out there in TV-Land with their dreary play. From the corner
kick, things took a 180° turn. The Flying Saints showed real flair in their
play. Agosto Verano found the net soon after that, which prompted the San
Patrician fans to yell
"¡Dirijen! ¡Estamos dirijiendo! ¡Ganaremos! ¡Vamos a ganar!"
"¡Si eres contento y lo sabes batete las manos *clap clap*!"

Another goal ten minutes later, and the final goal just before full time,
put Los Santitos Volantes, the Flying Fans, in a good mood, and went off to
lecture Kalesthesian fans about switching to San Patricianism. A
Kalesthesian man was arrested for assaulting a San Patrician fan, and taken
away to Joannina Central Police Station, where he was detained for assault.
The San Patrician fan was taken to Joannina Hospital for treatment of
concussion. The outcome of both will be reported soon.

The win puts San Patricio into the lead of Pool B, and Kalesthesia into
second place. Wwww is still way back last. San Patricio plays Wwww next on
the Ochre Field in Woo City in three days time. Kalesthesia plays Wwww at
the same place two days after the San Pats do.

The Technical Information:

Final score: AFRAZURE ALTLANDIQUE 0 - BROLECIA 4
Played in: National Stadium, Medhinou, Afrazure Altlandique
Attendance: 13,500
Referee: Willie Corniff (ARO)
Goals: Montagne (BRO, 29th), Howard (BRO, 45th), Möller (BRO, 62nd), Möller
(BRO, 65th)
Yellow cards: Al Afraki (AZA, 21st), Bullahlah (AZA, 51st), J. Ozi (BRO, 75th)
Substitutions: Telakah for Al Afraki (AZA, 45th), Durel for Jubala (AZA,
45th), Dupont for Ramudeira (BRO, 54th), J. Ozi for Möller (BRO, 70th)

Match commentary:

Brolecia continues in their winning ways!

Brolecia had yet another whitewash victory in the Copa Melania, beating an
overawed Afrazurean side by four goals, but the Afrazureans showed signs of
improvement on the six goal loss previously in Laketon.

The Afrazureans managed to sustain a reasonable defence for the first
thirty minutes, preventing many good opportunities, even by forwards such
as Guy Montagne, one of the premier forwards on the planet, playing in the
Westrian league for Racing Club Montroy. But, eventually, their defense was
bound to lapse, and that did, with Guy Montagne scoring a header from an
Alejandro Martínez corner. That was one down.

But the Afraqis knew the Brolecian's strengths and weaknesses by now, and
managed to hold a defence for the rest of the half, until Tyrone Howard did
some magnificent passing with Guy Montagne to break through the defence and
score a screamer, going only six inches in from the post. A picture of that
shot is attached to this message.

Half time came around, and Étienne Tanguay was very supportive of his guys,
and said that they were doing a good job, considering that Antoine Nagouma
was out on a red card. He made two substitutions in the half. He removed
the carded Gamal Al Afraki, who was standing in for Antoine Nagouma, and
replaced him with the other defensive substitute, Hosni Telakah. Alex
Michaels, the stand-in Brolecian coach for the hospitalised Franz
Drittemeier, made no substitutions.

At the beginning of the second half, the Brolecians did not play as well as
they could have, nearly letting through a couple of goals, but Joseph
Davidson had managed to conserve all his concentration for those few
crucial moments at the beginning of the second half. And then the
breakthrough came.

'Der Neukölnere Supermitterfelder', as Stefan Möller is sometimes known,
scored two goals in quick succession, ending any hopes the Afraqis had of
levelling this game. His goals were lucky ones, which came from lapses in
the Afrazurean defence, although one must give Möller credit for sensing
those lapses.

He was substituted five minutes later for 'The Other Ozi', and the
Afrazureans were resolved to not let any more goals through. That they did,
although James Ozi did a magnificent shot, but the big man Abdul Oufkir
saved it. Some witnesses said
"His leap had to be twelve feet!"

The result was not unexpected, but Étienne Tanguay commented,
"Well, we got beaten six-nil the first time. We got beaten four-nil the
second time. So it's only two more games until we draw with them nil-nil!"

Afrazure Altlandique stays home and plays Oost-Otago next. Brolecia has a
break, and heads far north to Mishar and plays the Triple-O's there. That
will be the last game of the Copa Melania round robin. Brolecia has now
officially secured the top spot in Pool A, which means that they will play
the second place-getter in Pool B. Afrazure Altlandique looks like they
will be the second place getter in Pool A, and Oost-Otago needs to beat
them by two goals to get into second place. The second placer will play San
Patricio in the semi-final.

The Technical Information:

Final score: WWWW 1 - SAN PATRICIO 6
Played in: Ochre Field, Woo City, Wwww
Attendance: 15,000
Referee: Johnny Whistler (Christiana)
Goals: Khaled (SPT, 19th), Khaled (SPT, 38th), Smith-Jones (SPT, 44th),
Tipulura (WWW, 46th), Madyarbanya (SPT, 69th), Madyarbanya (SPT, 74th),
Khaled (SPT, 89th)
Yellow cards: Tipungwuti (WWW, 44th)
Substitutions: Ripijigimpi for Tipungwuti (WWW, 45th), Madyarbanya for
Smith-Jones (SPT, 61st)

Match commentary:

¡Los Santos Están Volando!

A massive 6-1 win for San Patricio puts them at their best yet, after their
unconvincing win against the Woos, and their inconsistent win against
Kalesthesia.

Most doubts that the critics had were dispelled during this game, showing
that the Saints can play some quality football.

The game started off at a medium pace, but gradually built over twenty
minutes, when at the climax, Abdul Khaled was rewarded with a goal. The San
Pats kept the pressure up, and Khaled broke through again, seven minutes
before the break. Smith-Jones followed it up, to put Los Santos Tres a
Cero. The San Patrician fans who travelled all the way down to Woo City
certainly didn't display their asses, and threw no milk on to the field.

Coach José María O'Donahue O'Donahue was pleased with his team's
performance up to that point. But directly after the break, the Woos scored
a goal very quickly, Tipulura placing a nicely placed volley behind Juan
María O'Doul. The San Patricians weren't overly worried at that point, but
the Woos kept up attacking for the next twenty minutes, which did get the
San Patricians worried. The attackers certainly looked like scoring many
times, but they just couldn't get their shots accurate enough. Finally, the
reverse floodgates opened, with Madyarbanya, the substitute, slotting in
two, and Khaled finishing off his hatrick.

Wwww stays home next and plays Kalesthesia at the Ochre Field. San Pat
heads back home and plays Kalesthesia as the last game of Pool B. San Pat
has now secured the top spot of Pool B, which means they'll probably be
playing Afrazure Altlandique in the semi-final.

The Technical Information:

Final score: AFRAZURE ALTLANDIQUE 3 - OOST-OTAGO 0
Played in: National Stadium, Medhinou, Afrazure Altlandique
Attendance: 13,500
Referee: José Miguel O'Gorman McGurk (SPT)
Yellow Cards: Kelehey (OOO, 29th)
Goals: Moloko (AZA, 46th), Nagumi (AZA, 69th), Durel (AZA, 81st)
Substitutions: Durel for Jubala (AZA, 29th), Schipp for Sibbel (OOO, 45th),
Nagumi for Moloko (AZA, 68th)

Match Commentary:

Upstart colony in semi-finals!

Afrazure Altlandique won well against the Triple-O's infront of a home
crowd, who are realising that football is growing in popularity in the
recently assumed colony of theirs. Governor General Sir Genthar Jengling
even said something about enlarging the small National Stadium, where this
game was played.

The first half started off at a sluggish pace, but at times both teams
played furiously, attempting to put the ball in the backs of the others'
nets. But the hurried style of play brought on many errors, so neither side
could convert opportunities into points. In this frantic play, Ngomo Jubala
was injured with a nasty tackle by Kelehey, and was replaced by Laurent Durel.

At the half, the respective coaches yelled to their players that their
performance was shocking, and too many errors were occuring. Each coach was
very correct in saying that. Coach Hohengatth of Oost-Otago swapped his
goalies, thinking that the next half would bring a more controlled
onslaught by Afrazure Altlandique. He was right, but he didn't want to be
proven right in the way of the Afraqis, as it took 99 seconds for Akhbar
Moloko to score the first goal of the game. The fans went wild, and started
cheering their team in their polyglot language of Mahlik, Fronch and Inglish.

Oost-Otago desperately wanted to catch up on that goal, and started
attacking as they did in the first half. But just like the first half, they
made copious errors, and lost the ball, didn't shoot accurately, and did
not play well. Étienne Tanguay then brought on a fresh forward in Flori
Nagumi, and it did not take him very long to make his contribution, in the
form of a goal. The fans went wild again, and they yelled "We're going to
Puerto Bravo!"

A midfield game came in for ten minutes, until Laurent Durel broke through
and got another one, to put the home team three up. The fans went
absolutely ballistic, and the atmosphere was just up there with the best,
despite the crowd size.

Afrazure are now guaranteed the second place spot of Pool A. Oost-Otago are
also guaranteed the third place spot of Pool A, no matter what their result
against Brolecia will be. Brolecia vs Oost-Otago is the last round robin
game of Pool A, and will be played at Mishar, up north.

The Technical Information:

Final score: WWWW 2 - KALESTHESIA 1
Played in: Ochre Field, Woo City, Wwww
Attendance: 15,000
Referee: Ingemar Hatt (Brolecia)
Goals: Pularumpi (WWW, 5th), Funchzal (KAL, 70th), Pularumpi (WWW, 77th)
Yellow Cards: Kerinaiua (WWW, 30th), Tipungwuti (WWW, 60th)
Substitutions: R. Malin for Dogge (KAL, 45th), Wonamini for Puautjimi (WWW,
50th), Ripijigimpi for Poantumilui (WWW, 50th), Agundes for Uribe (KAL, 60th)

Match Commentary:

Wwww Scrapes Thrwwww!

The Woos snatched a shocking victory against Kalesthesia, with two moments
of good play.

>From the first whistle, people could tell that this was going to be another
Kalesthesia whitewash, with their attacking play. But Wwww took advantage
of a lapse in defence to capitalise on the opportunity presented. That
meant that Manakaetau Pularumpi scored an easy goal through an
insubstantial Kalesthesian defence. The people now could not tell that it
would be a Kalesthesian whitewash.

But the Kalesthesians learnt from that goal, and did not commit as many of
their players to attack as they did previously, always leaving at least
three to tackle the Woo attack, and they did do that for the remainder of
the first half. That resulted in good defence, but not as good attack,
making no goals for the remainder of the half.

Back on the pitch for the second period, the game continued much as it had
previously, sure defence, uncertain attacking. But eventually the
Kalesthesians realised that the game was getting on, and they needed to
score a goal to try to win it. They stepped up the attack, and the
midfielder Funchzal scored the equaliser. The Kals knew that they had 20
minutes of quick transfers from attack to defence to play.

Unfortunately, on one of the Kalesthesian attacks, the first goal scorer,
Manakaetu Pularumpi, stole the ball and broke through the inadequate
defence to score his second and the team's second. That was enough to put
the rest of the game out of reach for the Kalesthesians.

The Kals go on to play San Patricio as the last Pool B game of the Copa
Melania. They need to win, draw, or lose by less than two goals to go
through to the semi-finals to play Brolecia. Otherwise, they get third in
the pool, Wwww plays Brolecia, and Kalesthesia plays Oost-Otago in
Joannina. Wwww has no more games to play in the round robin.

The Technical Information:

Final score: BROLECIA 5 - OOST-OTAGO 0
Played in: Stade de Chérèse, Mishar, Brolecia
Attendance: 53,000
Referee: Greg Stonely (Whitlam)
Goals: Howard (BRO, 43rd), Howard (BRO, 49th), Grenzer (BRO, 63rd),
Horunard (BRO, 66th), Horunard (BRO, 90th)
Yellow Cards: Sibbel (OOO, 43rd), Ramudeira (BRO, 55th), Schußlich (OOO, 70th)
Red Card: Sibbel (OOO, 66th)
Substitutions: Grenzer for Ishmel (BRO, 45th), Achathz for Kelehey (OOO,
45th), Horunard for Howard (BRO, 56th), Schipp for Kimmeltirk (OOO, 66th)

Match Commentary:

OOO the humanity!

Oost-Otago seem to be statistically making no improvement on their previous
result against Brolecia, but showed the world that they could hold a
defence for nearly a whole half.

The Oost-Otagans were unsure which tactic would be used by the Brolecians
at the beginning. To any team in the world, it is evident that the
Brolecians change their style of play as easily as most people change their
clothes, and starting off, the Brolecians are totally unpredictable. But
the Oost-Otagans had learnt from their previous game against the Barons,
and were ready for anything.

But Brolecia started off with a defensive game, thinking that the
Triple-O's would try to get some points on the board early, to counter the
Brolecians'. A midfield slump ensued, and lasted for the next thirty
minutes, with only rare charges from Brolecia. After that, the Barons
decided to put the pedal to the metal, and went hard out. Their efforts
were not rewarded well, with only one goal, and even that was a penalty.
Sibbel charged at Howard to smother the ball, but tripped him a little too
hard, and the penalty was scored against him.

With half time around, Alex Michaels said that he had just been on the
phone with Franz Drittemeier, who remarked,
"You're playing well, but a few more goals would be nice!"
Michaels made one substitution, Andreas Grenzer, the former starter, for
Ezekiel Ishmel, the tired midfielder. Coach Hohengatth made one
substitution, a defender swap, Achathz for Kelehey, to bring on a fresh
defender. He thought that Brolecia would definitely keep their attack
going, and he was right.

Half number two came along, and it took only four minutes for Tyrone
Howard's second goal, a low-flying volley that spun around into the goal.
Oost-Otago did not give up, however, and refused to be overly trampled on.

Seven minutes later, Michaels took off the tired Tyrone, with his
flamboyant blond afro, moustache and beard, and replaced him with Fabien
Horunard, another territorially included player. And seven minutes after
that, the substitute Andreas Grenzer scored his fifth goal in international
football, tying the Brolecian record, which also belongs to Dominic Ozi and
Guy Montagne. See a picture of this shot at
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Galaxy/8981/game12.html

Three minutes later, the goalkeeper Sibbel got himself sent off for doing
another overly aggressive charge, this time on Fabien Horunard, the
substitute. Coach Hohengatth immediately removed the midfielder Kimmelturk
and replaced him with the substitute goalie Schipp, who attempted to save
the penalty, but failed. That shifted Brolecia to four-nil up.

The Brolecians let their collective foot off the gas, and sat back to
defend their lead. But at the end, the penalty taker substitute Fabien
Horunard broke through again, and scored the last one in the dying seconds
of the game, to put Brolecia's Copa Melania goal tally at Twenty For, Zero
Against.

Brolecia goes on to play Kalesthesia in the semi-final, at La Stade
Voisionçalle, in Sherz. If they win the semi-final, the odds of which are
currently 7:6, they will go on to face San Patricio or Afrazure Altlandique
in the final, at National Bank Stadium in Liston.
Oost-Otago goes on to play Wwww in Woo City, for 5th/6th Place.

The Technical Information:

Final score: SAN PATRICIO 0 - KALESTHESIA 0
Played in: Estadio Tremendo, Puerto Bravo, San Patricio
Attendance: 88,888
Referee: W.-C. Benzhin (Westermarc)
Goals: None!
Yellow Cards: López (SPA, 9th), García (SPA, 40th), Kattsi (KAL, 41st),
Barek (SPA, 55th)
Substitutions: O'Gorman for Fernández (SPA, 45th), Grooph for Qarza (KAL,
45th), R. Malin for Edeminag (KAL, 60th)

Match Commentary:

¿Fui el fútbol bovino? Sí, ¡desde luego!

San Patricio has their second goal-less game in only six matches as a
national side, against the Kals. It was a dreary game, quite an anti-climax
to a continental tournament. Their first goal-less game was their first
game, against Brolecia in Kache.

About the 'dirty wave', the world-renowned Gronkian proctologist, and
president of the Vexillium Proctology Guild (VPG), Srd'an Vladinovic commented
"The asses of the San Patricians are some of the cleanest I have ever seen,
and I certainly saw a lot of them! *chuckle*. I also liked the touch of
them throwing milk onto the pitch. It mustn't have been too nice for the
players, though! *chuckle*"

The first half was aggressively played by all. Understandably, Kalesthesia
desperately wanted that semi-final berth against Brolecia. They needed
anything higher than a two-goal loss to remain in second place. So the Kals
perpetually attacked. But the San Patricians only wanted to cap off their
round robin with a win, and they considered that defense is the best form
of attack. Their aggressiveness came from the fans, who wanted to see some
action. That resulted in some pretty spectacular tackles, in particular by
Diego Axtahuatl López, who nearly red carded himself with a nasty shin kick
from behind on Kristian Qarza, the six goal Kalesthesian wonderboy. That
almost injured Qarza, and López was very lucky to escape only with a yellow.

Half time came around, and the San Patricians saw no reason at all to alter
their tactics, and did a forward swap merely because Juan Pablo O'Gorman
was a bit fatigued. The fans would not be happy, but Los Santos did say to
'Doble O.'G.' that they could concentrate with asses staring at them. As
for the milk on the pitch, they believed it would disadvantage the
Kalesthesians more, because they weren't used to it.

The Kalesthesians did not press as hard in the second half, thinking that
the Saints would try and attack. They were wrong, and the Bovine Football
continued, right until the final whistle. The Kalesthesians were satisfied
with the result, because it pits them against Brolecia in Sherz in four
days time. San Patricio goes on to play Afrazure Altlandique at this same
ground, also in four days time. After that game, the teams will either go
to the final or to the 3rd place playoff.